Commissions / Custom Order FAQ:

Why is the raccoon in your painting so angry??

I made this painting to try to explain why I’ve always been so nervous about doing commissions. It takes a lot of time and real love to make ceramics. It can take more or less than 6 to 8 weeks to make a piece. Our culture of order it today and the minions from Amazon will deliver it straight to your door in 15 minutes do not work for pottery! The snail in this painting is me! I will work as fast as I can to make your pottery dreams come true!! Please be patient with me!

What kinds of things do you make custom?

I would love to make any kind of mug, planter, doll head whatever, or anything else you can think of that’s made of clay! I will say yes or no depending on if your request fits my style and skill set! Examples of things I would LOVE to make:

• Boobie everything! Mugs, planters, tooth brush holders, vases, etc…

• Pet portraits! I would love to paint your cat, dog, ferret, goldfish or hissing cockroach on a mug, planter, plate or whatever!

• Your Astrology sign, Chinese Zodiac, favorite quote stamped on clay, anything that is special to you!!

• Anything LGBTQ+ !! I will put rainbows, or the trans, lesbian, or any kind of flag on anything!

• Any animal or bug or reptile or dinosaur or fruit or vegetable or plant or flower!!

• Cryptids or any fantasy creature!! I would love to make a Mothman mug or a Godzilla planter!!

• Weird stuff!!

What kinds of things do you NOT want to make?

I will do my best to make whatever you desire, but there are a few things that I’m not interested in making. Here’s some examples of things I would NOT love to make:

• I don’t want to make an exact replica of your genitalia out of clay. I’m sure you have a great penis, but I really don’t want to see a photo of it!! Also, no shame! I’m sure there are lots of other ceramic artists who would love to do this project for you. This is just not my cup of tea!

• People portraits. I’m just not super skilled at drawing and painting humans.

• Anything unkind. Nothing political. My art is about love and joy.

• Boring stuff!! Please don’t ask me to make 100 teacups in the same shade of beige for your wedding that’s in two weeks.

• Teapots!!  I've never made one and I just don't want to!

• Things with lids!  I wish I was your go-to gal for making jars but that is just not in my skillset yet!

• Really nice plates you can eat things on.  Sorry once again this is not in my skillset either!!

• Really nice big bowls.  I can try but all I can promise is a mediocre bowl! 

 

How do I order from you?

Please fill out my custom order form!

When and how do I pay?

After you fill out the form I will send you an email and we will discuss your project. When I have a good understanding of what you would like I will give you a quote of how much it will be. You can pay me through PayPal, Venmo, or Cash App.

What about shipping?

I will ask the address you would like your piece shipped to and I will calculate shipping from that. I offer local pickups, but only for custom orders!  Items will ship via USPS with a tracking number for domestic orders. I ship worldwide! International customers are responsible for any taxes, import duties and fees.

Are all sales final?

All sales are final for anything personalized and for all mystery mugs.

Do you still have more questions?

Please contact me at coconutzeroart@gmail.com if you have any questions whatsoever!